Recapping an amazing weekend with the Set The Standard Community
FREE Mindset Webinar: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/mindsetupgrade
Join The Community Here: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/communitymembership
Make sure you listen to the podcasts all the way through to get your discount code.
Recapping an amazing weekend with the Set The Standard Community
FREE Mindset Webinar: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/mindsetupgrade
Join The Community Here: https://www.coreyboutwell.com/communitymembership
Make sure you listen to the podcasts all the way through to get your discount code.
The purpose of this conversation is going to be around the next level retreat and the reflections and the lessons learned from that. So I'm super excited for you guys to know all of the powerful things that happen and how you can take from this some, some lessons yourself and apply them into the real world, because the stuff that we've gone through is been has been amazingly transformational. So I'm going to start this off with a couple of quotes uh, just quickly, because I think these are really powerful. First quote is doesn't the energy that loves to fight need to learn to play all over again? How does that happen? And I love this question and I love this quote because that means that we have all this energy that could be, that that wants to fight, that wants to compete, that wants to rage, that wants to be angry, that wants to be passionate, that wants to be intense. And if we don't understand how to let it learn how to play, then it can show off in negative ways, such as boredom, violence, porn, masturbation, video games, all these different things. If we don't understand that, learn that tool and that lesson for learning how to play. The second quote that I think is really important and that's the energy, that fight, that needs to learn how to play. By the way. The second one I think is really important is and this all comes from the book I and John by Robin Bly.
Speaker 1:I think it's really powerful this is we need to build a body, not on the parallel bars, but an activated emotional body, strong enough to contain our own superfluous desires. We're going to get into talking about projections in a minute and holding projections, and I think that this quote talks about the strength that we have and can have when we understand what our desires are and we chase them regardless with superfluous energy, knowing that other people are going to project onto us. They're going to criticize, judge, not like what we're doing, make us feel bad, they might like reject us or or, you know, kind of think we're weird or whatever for wanting to chase a desire that we're so passionate about. Or they may have that. Oh, you can't do it because I can't do that attitude, which can put you off, and being surrounded by those people is quite frustrating. But I say that we want to build a body that's strong enough to be able to contain that, and emotional body that can take the hits, can take the you know, emotional bullets that have been sent at you for those reasons. So I think that's super powerful. Love that quote. We're going to get into that a little bit while I talk about this retreat. So I'm really excited to share with you guys all the lessons and tools in this and if you do get any value from this, please follow me. Please like, share and subscribe this video. I think this would be to this and everything that we do the podcast, the video and all the things. That'd be extremely powerful If you want to learn more stuff like this and keep up to date with what we're doing like we do some awesome stuff. We've got some crazy offers. I'll let you know about a couple of those later on.
Speaker 1:So, essentially, the next level retreat. It was interesting because we had people rock up straight away and I had a reflection because one of my friends, one of my best friends, attended the retreat and he came over and he said man, isn't it interesting, like, how many people are actually hurting and how many people who look like an absolute stud and a beast? They've got the body, they've got the looks, they got like the smile, they've got the energy, but then they're sitting there like, oh, I'm so nervous and I'm really anxious about you know what's going to be happening and meeting people and if I'm going to get judged or people that may be better than me or not be better than me or like whatever this comparative stuff that was happening into their mind to completely transforming in two to three days and coming out someone completely different. So, anyway, we noticed that everyone starts, like you know, coming in with a little bit of anxiety and people start rocking up and rocking up and we're like, hey, so we start off by playing a game, just like all over Red Rover type of game to get the jitters out. So everyone's, you know, playing a little bit and I know everyone's a jewelry about coming to an event, especially personal development event, when we got no idea what's actually going to be happening. So I find that very interesting.
Speaker 1:The second thing that we noticed was that we're going to be breaking people down through the weekend and myself personally, after being at the retreat, I had like my own personal little breakdown before we even got started. My voice is still lost. So we're fresh out of the retreat. The retreat was like four days ago, so like my voice is still gone, but I remember there's like a photo of me and a video of me laying on the bed before we starting the retreat my head, my hands behind my head. Hold on, I just got to adjust my camera two seconds just over here, just adjusting this. Oh, I can't touch it. I got to try to. There we go, it's adjusted, it's on my face, it's good. So, essentially, I remember freaking out. I was laying back like this on the bed and knowing that what we're about to do to people, the processes and the guidance that we were going to go through, and I just completely, just in my body, started to like sort of freak out. I was like shortness of breath. It was that sort of anxiety that feels in your chest, like man about to run this crazy retreat. Can we hold this? We're upgrading our skill set.
Speaker 1:We're doing things that are in this retreat that are above what we usually do in terms of triggering people in confrontation and things like that. So one of the things that we do on the first day is an extremely and this is this retreat because we do all our treats are different. We got permission from Preston Smiles and Alexey Panox to use some of their exercise. We use two of their exercises and the rest of ones that I've created that I think are quite genius, and I keep creating more and more and more of these crazy exercises and it just worked, which is fantastic. So we got permission to do some of these, and one of them is really confronting.
Speaker 1:On the first day and I was freaking out about it, but we hyped it up. We did it so ceremonial, in such a such a beautiful way that a lot of people reflected to us. Like you know, this is one of the best things that we've been able to do as an icebreaker for men. Something so confronting and no way in hell am I going to tell you guys what it is, but I'm going to tell you the lessons and reflections was doing something so confronting that deals with no shame and guilt with other men, understanding that we're all real, similar, or understanding that people are hurting and going through what we've gone through, that we can take our power back and claim it, just by talking about it, just by admitting it, just by showing people and demonstrating some of the things that We've held against ourselves, held against ourselves in defiance, that we don't want it, that we've avoided, whatever the things are that come up with us. And this is all past regrets and mistakes and things that we've been disapproved or assumed that they've been disapproved of, and we just bury them under the rug. So this is the way of you know we clear the whole rug out on the exercise, which was insane and it was really heavy, us as facilitators.
Speaker 1:At the end, we all high five after it and we're like, yes, like we got a massive skill upgrade and the skill upgrade comes with, you know, some of the power and confidence and we were just like this massive relief and what we realized with the group afterwards was like everyone was sort of really mellow after was like whoa, because they just moved for a lot. So we had these other exercise planned. We're like, no, let's not, let's not do these right now because everyone's down just wants to connect and chat and we'll move on to our last like later exercise in the night. But we had food and we had food by Sage Sage caterers and the food was absolutely incredible the whole time we were there. Anytime someone put a piece of food in their mouth, they're like this is the best food that we've had by far. So we want to make sure that when we're running retreats and they are amazing that you're treated like a king, because otherwise, sometimes when you're out there and you're like in the retreats and like, like going through the things and the exercises, you don't have to think about food or be in it, so you could thinking, oh no, this isn't what I wanted, or like I can't eat this or whatever it is, so like that was absolutely amazing.
Speaker 1:What we also did on the first day as well, which I thought was great, was I did this meditation around winning and I have a talent for meditations of some sorts. For some reason, they just they just sort of click and lean into me, but I wanted to do a meditation around winning and talking about winning and claiming what you've won and reflecting on that. And it was so interesting hearing the reflections back from that meditation, because people like I haven't thought about winning in a really long time and I had to really dig back to think about winning. And winning for me used to be like this it used to be, you know, beating my friends down. For some people used to be winning the show or whatever it is winning the competition or beating someone or some sort of competing or putting someone down and they're like I need to redefine what winning is and redefining winning for me. For some people was like, just you know, winning every single moment. Other people was like it was just beautiful, going back to when I actually well and truly won something. What is that feeling of winning, which I think was really interesting? It stirred up a lot in people and they were thinking about it all weekend in terms of when have I won? Can I feel worthy of winning? Did I feel shame around winning previously? Or did I not feel good enough because every time I won when I was younger it still wasn't good enough for my parents or something? So like it was. A lot came out of one small meditation on winning that I thought was excellent and set a perfect tone for the weekend for comparison.
Speaker 1:One of the things that we noticed with a group of people we wanted to work through in this retreat was comparison. So we actually look at you know we've got like 10, 20 people. When we start hitting around that mark, we're looking at okay, so what other things we want to work through in this retreat? And with the people, we question them, we get to know them and we figure out what we want to work through in comparison is a huge game. It holds a lot of people back.
Speaker 1:It's like you know, when you see someone win in front of you so hard. And we had this reflection from people, man, I saw this person winning and they claim their power or something, and it still made me feel that I wasn't good enough and made me doubt myself. It made me think like yeah, I'm so happy for this person, but also like why can't I have that? And that's what? And like come to a true reflection if that's what's happening, then you don't really trust yourself and you're not 100% happy for that person to win. And if you're not 100% happy for someone else to win, how can you be happy for yourself to win If you're not happy for someone else to win? Right, and that just means you're not aligned to your path 100%, you know, 100% believe in yourself, and there's some confidence issues. Regardless in matter how confident you are, you can be a really confident person, but that confident believe in yourself is right there, which it, like I found super interesting. So for some of the people, I may record a winning meditation on that, like what we did, because I thought it was really powerful and it stood up a lot for people talking about it all weekend.
Speaker 1:And then, yeah, some of the guys, like we noticed, got really triggered at the start. I won't mention their names, like anyone's names in this, but two of the guys who knows got real triggered. One was angry in terms of just like, oh man, like why am I here? I don't want to do this, blah, blah, blah. Having all of these like thoughts and reflections and, as a facilitator, it's like you really worry about these people because you know you're going to keep on triggering them.
Speaker 1:And by trigger, like, what I actually mean by trigger is when people have an emotional response that's usually negative, whether you're worrying about something, doubting yourself, feeling frustrated. So if you really wanna make it happen, but you don't got the fighting spirit to go, feeling not worthy, having thoughts and reflections, things like that, which pop up into your mind and you can't get rid of them. It's like coming up and your brain is just running over and over and over and over and you're like, oh, why can't I get rid of this? It's frustrating. So that's a trigger. One got triggered in anger and one got triggered into an anxiousness in front of people.
Speaker 1:And it was so beautiful in this retreat for being the second one around, because we had people come to our old next level and then they come to the new next level, and so that was the second time around and they had gone through what these other people were going through. So it was really interesting watching them motivate people to learn these lessons and not everyone, no, that doesn't happen with everyone. Some people get sort of triggered in joy and happiness and they're like, wow, I can finally let go, which I think is really cool. So we went through the first exercise and at night time we had a fun exercise where we go through and I created just a little exercise that we have where it's purely just for fun and everyone has to get up one on one and tell a story and the hint of it is, you know, it's something that's got to be funny, right? So here I'm going to tell you guys the exact exercise. You're going to have to come to the next level to figure out what it is if we run it again.
Speaker 1:But it was hilarious and we had this night where everyone was cracking up laughing, I think, for one and a half hours and two hours straight and, after facing through something that has been really confronting, at the start, having some sort of fun and joy, which is what we recognize within our group, is, like you know, a lot of people haven't experienced an expressed joy and fun to the highest levels that they can. So, like, what can we do to facilitate this? And we did, and it was excellent. Everyone had such a good time and it really like brought down the walls of people and one of the best things that we have in retreats, if we know, when people bring down some of the walls and they start connecting with each other, people start networking. Two days after the retreat, we had two people in there like join their businesses to create an entire crypto exchange and they're talking to the head CEOs of big companies and some other companies for funding and all the rest of it and figuring out how it's going to happen, because someone was really high up in the crypto game and they're already innovating in the space and they're creating the like minor crypto sort of exchanges and bots and things, and the other person's a programmer and they met with each other and they're, you know, creating business together. Already it's been like two days since the retreat.
Speaker 1:We're just like, wow, you know the hero's journey, magic flight step. Well, like you guys are just flying, which is fantastic, because when you connect and you're going on a magic flight, which is an initiation phase, it's either fiasco or bliss those guys looks like it's going to be absolute bliss for them because they connected the right time and the right place with the right people, right. So imagine how long that you've been going through through life, sometimes knowing that there's one person that is out there that is at your standard, that is like similar to you, that wants the same intentions, has the same values and wants to win in the same way. And then you meet them, you connect, you get real clear on what the goals are and you're like, yeah, I can help each other perfectly, let's go and it's on. So if you've been to a retreat, that's so powerful. The level of trust is crazy, because you know trust on like the next level. You know that person inside and out, you know next level, pun intended. So then we go through. Later on goes to bed. That night we wake up and we had like a morning meditation and the food again was just like incredible, just like wow, it's so good. And they talk about the food as all locally grown, organic, farm raised stuff. It's just like absolutely fantastic. And then we run through a leadership exercise which things really cool.
Speaker 1:We traveled Australia doing a bunch of these and I just go through and just create absolute mannequin chaos in some exercises that we have and we had people building tents blindfolded and we had people cooking things in the kitchen and the ingredients were golf balls and blue tack. Thinking about it now makes me laugh, so funny. We had people building like big Lego things and people blowing up a lot of balloons and it was really interesting to have all these constraints within them. And then we go around and we want to elicit anger in people. So we're popping balloons, we're smashing their Lego, we're pushing people around, we're frustrating them, we're yelling at them, we're blowing whistles in their face, we're telling people to shut up. All these different things to like trigger people. We're making people be silent, making people do push ups, like punish people, like it's fun, it's a great fun, but it is extremely triggering.
Speaker 1:And then we create some sort of injustice at the end for people, which I think is powerful, because when there's some sort of injustice, people get really triggered. They go from this really high to this like oh man, I'm being judged right here or maybe I have to judge others and a powerful reflection that we learned was a lot of people are really quickly especially in Australia, really quickly to take the blame themselves, to take the bullet, to take the arrow, to shoot themselves. But it's very uncomfortable for people to put someone else in the firing range. And I believe it's powerful to be able to put someone in the firing range right Because it is an indication and a projection that that person in front of you isn't weak. It's a projection that they've got some armor and that they can take the hit In the firing range. All they know how to dodge it and give them the opportunity to deal with it and then, if not, deal with the ramifications of what's happening, which is really really interesting.
Speaker 1:Some people have no problems shooting other people, but I've seen a majority of people like do in some sort of way, especially if it's people that they like. So mostly I'll say 80 to 90% of people are like put me in the firing range, it was my fault, I did better, I could have done better. I'm really over self critical. I could have done this for this person. I said, if I can all this person's actually strong enough I'm going to give you some honest and true feedback. And I think you could have done better, maybe, or I think you didn't do good enough, or I think there's an opportunity for you to grow and I think that you've got great skills and talents, but you're just not there yet. I mean for me, when I ever invest in mentorship, I have a coach. I'm like you give me the most direct feedback possible. Like I just want to know the thing so that I can work on it. Same thing with my partner. Like please give me the most direct feedback.
Speaker 1:In that took a body as emotional body as we mentioned in this book beforehand emotional body to build, to be able to hold that amount of feedback and not get emotional about it and just taking it like yeah, this is awesome, this is really good, this is a positive thing. Now I get to change and become a better version of myself. When being in the reflections and what we were doing, it's just so interesting I was like, wow, it's normal that this is so. I know like some people raise in their hands like wow, this is actually me right now. Like I find it really difficult to. I find it really challenging and difficult to be the one that's not taken responsibility for absolutely everything instead of empowering other people. So it's good when everything is your responsibility and you can take control.
Speaker 1:But if you can trust other people and empower them and allow them to take a piece of the control as well, then they develop and grow and grow their own skill set, sort of like a character in a game that when they level up certain skills like they're up there, like some people have a strategy in a video game where what they'll do is they'll just level up the one character and get them so strong, like Pokemon. You level up the one Pokemon, get it really strong, or you can go for the strategy and level up everyone and then you can go through the game really quickly. So it's up to you, because if you rely on the big one, like the big Pokemon, or the one character, and you've upskilled them to the biggest, and then they are in trouble and they die and then you've got to rely on one of the weaker characters, you lose. Every time it's game over. That happens in video games so regularly and you're like damn it. But if you level up everyone and you make sure that they're maxed out when you go in, you can crush it. That's exactly what it's like with leadership. But to do that you have to put people into the fight and empower people to get into the fights that they can level up and get that experience. If you're not doing that, your leadership goes down.
Speaker 1:So really powerful reflection on how it's happening in real time. Because you can't. Your nervous system, all of these patterns and beliefs, have been conditioned in your brain, so when you're put under the stress and the environments that we create for people, you can't help but react in a way because you're stressed. That's reactive, so sort of like you think about a Formula One car driver. It's like they're not thinking about stuff, they're all patterns, they're just whoom whoom driving so fast, 300 kilometers an hour, and making all these no-transcript. If they spend time to learn a new track and they learn a different way, or they have a new skill or doing something called the, they change some of the tires and they feel a little bit different in the car. They've got to do so many laps in that car to understand the difference of it for how it performs. When they get back on the track they're like okay, I've got to perform this a little bit differently. So that's like us. We have these conditions in our brain for how we should act, how we should speak, what we should do, in real time, and until we have these things highlighted, like, hey, maybe you need to change your tires. I mean until someone looks at you like, hey, like the way that you're driving there isn't the right way, now we can create a new pattern, they're like, okay, how do I drive this car a little bit differently? That's the beauty of personal development, right? How amazing is that? And that's what we create. So we create that and it was awesome. Then there was another exercise that I invented and I love this exercise. I'm not gonna tell you what it is because it's a trade secret, but essentially it has people.
Speaker 1:There's two piece of vulnerability, I believe power and pain. And people can connect and bond over pain. We were doing it all weekend. You know what I mean? Like I was weak here, not good enough here, and I feel this here. People were like, oh, wow, filthy man, like empathy in terms of moving through things, but then, when you're connecting over power is completely different, because connecting in power can be isolating, can be. Oh, I'm a power, I've got this thing. You know what I mean. I, you know, I'm worth $50 million and I build it from scratch and have a partner who loves me, like you know.
Speaker 1:Start saying some things like that. Some people might get triggered over that, like I'm so good because I built like a $10 million business. I haven't built $10 million business yet, but I'm saying that just in case some people here might be like you know, like oh, that's triggering. Some people might have to say a billion dollar business. You know, if someone listened to this, you know I got a really decent company.
Speaker 1:And it's interesting how people take that to bond over power, because it actually most if people aren't sure within themselves, they can push people apart. But some people can bond over power. They're like, oh, you're powerful, I'm powerful, I inspire you, you inspire me, let's gel, let's go. And if someone says or does anything that elicits power and you feel an isolation, this just highlights where your pain hasn't been converted into power. Right, so we've created this thing, the feedback that we had in the exercise. People come up to me and they said we have never done like, I've done so many like personal development retreats, but that exercise got me better than all of them, all the stuff that we did and I was like this is like the feedback that I like to hear. But the lesson and the takeaway that I want to have from you guys is just to think to yourself, like, do I bond over people through pain or do I bond over people through power? And who do I want in my corner and am I comfortable with my own power? There's all these different things that people think like, oh, I got to this pain that I may not have shared with people. I turn the question what's all the power that you have gained and achieved and created for yourself that is so great that you haven't shared with people?
Speaker 1:For example, one of my friends had built a business and he didn't even tell me he'd been building it for like a year. He created multiple businesses and he just started hitting 80K months and he's like, yeah, I'm hitting 80K months consistently. And I had to ask him and like, sort of dig it out. He's like how's the business going? Like you haven't told me about it yet. Like what's going on? He's like, yeah, yeah, it's going really good. And I was like what are you hitting? He's like, oh, consistent 80K months. We got, like you know our MMR like monthly recurring revenues up nice and high. I was like, oh, let's like celebrate that so cool. So I thought that was like super, super interesting in terms of being able to share your power with people. So keep that one in your mind and use that. Also.
Speaker 1:It was really interesting knowing, like with some people, we created these challenges to do before the retreat for people to take advantage of, and it's interesting for people who do the homework, if you could say, and people who don't within the time, because some people crushed the challenges that we had before and other people didn't. And I teach this framework called purpose, beauty, danger. I think I've got a podcast on it. You can go and have a look somewhere on that or see if I can link it below for you. But it's super powerful exercise and we get everyone to talk and teach it one at a time and speak about it. And it's really cool watching this like people talk, because when one person teaches something, another person always adds something on. And we've done this exercise a couple of times now and we find out that when you teach something to people and you get them to teach it to everyone else and you don't say anything and you allow them to teach, which is fantastic. People add on something new every time and they get this new lesson and this new learning as they're going through, once they're about to teach something. So it was really cool because there was a book that comes with it for a framework, which is where I created it.
Speaker 1:When it come from and purpose beauty, danger has its role in real life. People having these like lessons at a landing regardless if they did the homework or not, they'd learned from other people had their own reflections, super powerful. And then what happened throughout the whole weekend was people were connecting on the lessons that they learned with the exercise and now they're gone back into the real world and they're like okay, I'm applying that here, I'm applying that there, and we're having people have crazy conversations and making decisions that it's like different they're not normally would have if they hadn't come to the retreat. The next exercise we have is an exercise it's like a role play exercise I invented which is extremely fun but also confronting, and it's called space jump. It used to do when I was a kid acting and I love it so much, but we've changed it in a way which is really signature, to set the standard and everyone's commenting in the group that we have and they're mentioning things like. They're saying, like have you had your space jump conversation? Have you had your space jump conversation yet? And people are having their space jump conversations and saying it's going so well. People are sending me screenshots of conversations that they're having that are leading on with open dialogue, because you have one conversation with someone and if you keep that dialogue open, you can consistently have that conversation. Which is the secret to not having you know big, crazy conversations all the time, or ones that are confronting and make you feel on the inside, is to have those have that open dialogue. So, yeah, crazy powerful reflection.
Speaker 1:We had people that were practicing proposals. We had people that were going through job interviews conversation with their parents, bosses, people running through content or staff and what was really interesting, when we were running through some of the conversations, there was one person who could not pick that up. He was like he had to hire someone and we're running through conversation of that and he just couldn't understand or pick up like how to be nice, how to ask questions and how that actually works. We went through and we used just some acting skills, because I'm an actor by trade and we're like all right, we're gonna act like a woman, like act like the girliest girl, the biggest diva, and like nice girl that you can. And then, coming afterwards, I'm gonna act like Steve Irwin and it was so funny because he couldn't get it when he was being himself. But as soon as he acted like a really like a pretty girly girl, he just started nailing everything. And then when he started acting like Steve Irwin, with that aggressive, like masculine energy, he started nailing it as well.
Speaker 1:Like the conversations and you can see from the feedback from you know another person that's sort of like yeah, I'm not feeling this guy like I can't feel it. Like what he's saying feels inauthentic to wow. This feels really authentic and I love this guy. Like it makes me wanna work for him. Just crazy in real time, knowing that running through an exercise like that, when you get back into the real world, when you've had practice, your brain's gonna start using those new patterns, like the Formula One car that we're talking about. You've got some new tires, you got a new engine, you've learned how to drive the car, so now you can go at 300, 300, you know k's an hour, whatever it is, and you can react accordingly in real time. So they gained these absolute superpowers, which I thought was absolutely awesome. And part of this, you know, whilst everyone's running, you know, through these exercises and everything, is actually like holding projections and what I mean like. So everyone's learning how to hold projections. They're projecting on us as facilitators myself and Glenn and we're projecting back onto people and trying to hold that as much as possible and refined to things. Guys just gonna click. So what I mean by holding projections is okay.
Speaker 1:When you notice that someone's frustrated you, angry at you, uncertain, doubting you, they're having a body response. When they're, like you know, judging you, criticising you and understanding how that's happening with someone, and that they're holding it in their body and they're emotionally activated and it feels like they're the heart's beating, they're sweating, they feel hot, they're angry, the temper there's, you know, thoughts running in their brain that they can't control. That's what, like you know, was going through when you're having a projection. But when you know that someone you love and care about is going through that and it's directed at you, you can say sorry, you can go, you can have a conversation, you can apologize, you can ask them to let it go, you can ask them to leave and all these different things, and that would be Not holding the projection, that would be letting the projection go, saying sorry, doing something like that.
Speaker 1:But as a facilitator, once you've like designed an entire weekend, that it's just extremely powerful for people. You have the greatest opportunity when holding projections to practice that and make sure that you're Like, reflecting back to them like a mirror, like every time they're coming into projection. We are. How much more I can do this? You know why not. You know what I mean. Like, like, don't you believe in yourself? Like isn't the reason that you're here for this breakthrough? For this reason, and as you're holding like, as you're holding that energy and that Body language and the tone in your voice and the encouragement over a period of time, you know that eventually people are going to go from like here to here. They sort of jump over the line eventually and it's sort of like holding projection would be.
Speaker 1:Let's say, you're on a sales call with someone and they start saying no and you go okay, well, like, is this a finance thing? Or like is this a product thing or a finance thing? Like what's the issue? And they're like oh no, it's like a second finance thing. You go okay, well, finance aside, is this exactly what you want? They go yeah, it's exactly what I want, and be like okay, well, you know, it sounds to me that it sounds to me that if you haven't done something like this Over, like if you don't take action on this now, isn't this, if you delay and wait over a period of time, and so six months from now, you then finally take action, isn't it going to cost you so much more over one year than the six month period instead of, like then, the six month period it would have had of working with us? And they go yeah, actually it would okay. So why not take action now and put a deposit down?
Speaker 1:If you're on a sales call and you're mentioning something like that and you get this person saying no, you might be thinking, oh man, they don't want to buy into me, they don't don't like what I've got to offer, they might not like the product, they might not like the service, or this person's not ready. But instead, if you keep getting curious and asking questions, you know how can I support you. Would you like this? Like, is this the right fit for you? Like, okay, what's the cost of if you don't do this. You know asking questions and just being, you know holding your own and your posture, your vocal posture and the words that you use in a posture which comes across strong and you want them in and You're immovable. Eventually my gut yeah, yeah, yeah, actually I'm gonna jump in now. I was cool. I can't believe I doubted that for a second. Congratulations. You've just held a projection. So holding that like I feel like as a facilitator and someone coming to this like a retreat like this, you learn how to hold that really well. So you become a better leader, a better dad, a better partner immediately In general, a better human.
Speaker 1:And what I mean by activated as well, like if I'm defining activated, that is when your heart rate speeds up, blood pumping a little bit more, you notice that your body isn't feeling a little bit more agitated, a little bit more fidgety and you can't get thoughts at your brain. You might be sat salivating and whatever it is. That is how you know that you're activated. So sometimes I'll be like a you know argument with my partner or something and to just say one thing and it'll just hit me. It's so different to the things that you know that they normally said I mean, that's like, yeah, that's because you never put the toilet seat down. It's like I've been working really hard to put in the toilet seat down. For some reason, you like hit me. Like I'm activated right now, I'm frustrated. Communicating that's powerful because we say, like I'm actually activated right now, I won't be able to hold this. So being able to create a body that can hold these emotional things is Increasing the amount of activation that you can hold and the amount of projections that you can hold. Like I found such a big upgrade For me at the start of the retreat, like when I was laying down my head behind my back, freaking out about the first day, like awesome. Like the next time that happens, I've got it, I'm gonna absolutely crush it, which is cool.
Speaker 1:We also had, like during the retreat as well, just some amazing conversations. Like we had some other coaches come and we're talking about, like just had Great conversations are masculine, feminine energy. It's an awesome conversation. Just like everyone was just opening up. They're talking about people who are dying like in their lives, which is just like powerful, how they're overcoming it. A lot of relationship talk, how to overcome that. A lot of. A lot of business, talk a Lot of how to get my partner back. Should I break up with my partner? What conversation I need to have with my partner? How am I going to manage my employees better? Like what's the conversation I need to have for this big guy? Do I need to give up my business? Do I need to start a new business? I had all these amazing conversations that were just straight into it and that's just like advice and questions everywhere and collabing, which is just like so cool and powerful.
Speaker 1:And then one of the things that I thought was really cool for the retreat, that is, if I was triggered, glenn, like my head coach you've like your co co-facilitator in this he would be able to make sure that I'm good and like take the, take the lines and take some of the stress in the slack. And then if he was triggered with something called activated, I would be able to take, you know, the slack for him and we work really well together. So for those really cool sort of lesson reflection that you know, with the right people in your team or who are next to you, you can honestly do anything like. If I was to hold that by myself, I don't think I would be able to do it like run through that. That would mean a moment or I had to give up or do something less of or change stuff around, or, you know, I might have bowled or quit on something, but with him there, knowing how we go through things, was just not a chance at all. I'm what I've thought about. I probably would have done the whole thing but I would have been second guessing myself, but because he was there, I didn't second guess at all, which was just absolutely fantastic.
Speaker 1:Then we work through a lot of anger. So I believe like this is a real passionate topic of mine. Now, you know, with suicide rates, if you Google Australian suicide rates from the ages of like 12 to 50, the number one cause of death is suicide, right, and it's the men that go through and commit, which is crazy. And then I start thinking about all of the other attempts which don't succeed. And then I also think about the thoughts and all the amount of people who have had those thoughts or feel that pressure and I was like whoa, I need to like get rid of that, and that's like we're frustrating. And then I also just thought about the pressure in general for people who don't really have like suicidal thoughts, but have thoughts where it is just confronting, or there's pressure, or there's passion that they want to feel, or intensity that they want to be able to access and they haven't accessed it because they haven't channeled their aggression or their anger in a way which is really powerful.
Speaker 1:And I started to learn this that, like, passion and anger are two sides of the same coin and if you want intensity and passion and drive and motivation, it's using your anger to be able to do that. But your anger gets blocked by pain, gets blocked by suffering, gets blocked as a plug by shame. And when you start, when you've ever been angry and you've been shamed for being angry, like you're not allowed to be angry or all you've ever known is anger, so you've started to shut it off and you've just been like too much anger. So now you're like I mean I don't want to express it because I've hurt people every single time that I have been angry. It's a shame of feeling of guilt.
Speaker 1:Now you've got all of these different emotions that are attached to anger and anger at its best is a very pure emotion and it's a very beautiful emotion that gets converted straight to passion, drive, intensity and can be used, I believe, as a fuel source for intimacy, because intimacy is quite intense and you have to summon some sort of I'm going to get in here, I'm going to lock and I'm not going to move, and it feels like you know your body. The same thing you know when you're angry and you're coming in to make a decision for something is a very quick stern with my body and I found out with high levels of intimacy. It can be the same thing, but you're kind of flowing back and forth when you're doing it. So I feel like that's how it can be used. And when we push people like Jordan Peterson sort of mentions this as well he's like you know, you want it.
Speaker 1:One, if they want to become dangerous, must understand how sharp their teeth are or actually sharpen their teeth and then never use them or sharpen their sword, understand they've got a sword but they never actually use the sword but know that you've got it. So we like to run through exercises and anger to like push people to the edge so they know what they have, they know their anger, they understand it. It's not out of control. They're like okay, that was me. I'm like a max expression of anger. I know exactly what that's like. I feel so free of, unplugged of the plugs and the chains, and I've let the shackles drop. Now I can focus on what I really want to do, which is like, like, so interesting and so beautiful. Because now they're like okay, I've got my teeth, I've got my sword. I know what that looks like. So anytime that I start getting close to that, or if I haven't bottled up over a long period of time, I now have control over it.
Speaker 1:So I'm more concerned and worried about the people who avoid, who be silent, who are bored, who are sarcastic, who are passive, aggressive, who have tendencies to be a little bit reactive, who just can I don't want to talk about, like my feelings or emotions or whatever. I'm just going to go do something with the boys or whatever it is and not actually like work through something and they just keep it, you know, under the rug for a long period of time. So I'm like you're the dangerous ones because you don't know how to control your anger, you don't know the edge of it, you don't know where it's been or you haven't been there for you know a long time. So it looks like you know the bottle's been shaken and it's just ready to pop. So we really popped the bottle in a really safe way to let all of it come out. So now you've got like an empty bottle and then you get to fill it with passion and inspiration instead, which is a much better and healthy feeling of dealing with anger. So, yeah, I really believe we're saving the world with that. To be honest, like I think like we're just like taking men to the next level, saving people, and it's just, it's just fantastic. I absolutely love it. So it's one of my favorite things ever.
Speaker 1:Like one of my one of the guys who worked for me, he came up at the end one of the exercises because people go through one at a time and I was like, what are you doing here? Like real hyped him up to get him angry and stuff and like passionate, and he just come up and he was just like I just fucking love being angry. Like I got me really motivated. I'm like, yes, let's go, cause we have some people before the exercise who are really angry at people in their life, like I'm angry at this person, angry at myself, I'm angry at myself for doing this and myself and not taking advantage of this. Then we have other people who come in and they're just like I'm I just want to win. Like I am, I'm ready to compete, like I'm stepping into my greatness. I want to feel this passion.
Speaker 1:So it's really interesting with some people that comes from pain and other people that comes from power, and you know also two sides to the same coin in terms of intensity and anger, which is great. We all have this intensity that we get to use and use and harness for a long period of time and if we can it's, guys, a limit, let's go. So nothing that we also like to do is like get people to like have, have fun as well. So if an exercise after like a show, what it is, but we just have a lot of fun and it involves a lot of tribal music, which are really cool. And, yeah, some people just gave us some wild reflections around like what it actually feels like to be free when you're not drunk, when you're not on drugs or when you let your inhibitions go out of trust and safety, removing judgments of other people and people like. I've never felt like a feeling of being free beforehand and I remember it was interesting because I had this reflection on this, when I went to markets in the Gold Coast not these markets and I remember vividly like someone was at the mouth and they'll play in the guitar and they'll sing it and it was beautiful and they'll play in a song. That I thought was amazing and I love this quote. Those are thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music Right, so Fredrick needs to quote.
Speaker 1:I remember being at the markets and I heard the music and I just started dancing. I just started dancing in front of everyone and like my friends and stuff were there, my partner was there. I just started like jamming out. I was like yeah, and people around me. It was interesting because I was looking at people in the eye when they were looking at me and they look at me in the side and they sort of like look over and smile and be like oh, and then like look away. You know what I mean. Oh, my goodness, look at that guy dancing over there and I just thought like wow. As I made eye contact with them, they saw me having fun.
Speaker 1:I noticed for a split second that that's what they wanted. They're like oh, wow, I wish I could do that. But I'm going to go back into my normal life and just keep going along the flow and following the crowd, like I would see people's eyes and then follow the crowd and I thought, wow, I felt like I was on a different planet and a different world and I was living in a different reality to everyone else, like, if only you were free enough to just come dance with me at the markets, you know, and have some fun in front of everyone, without freedom and judgment. Anyone else, like you know, when you see a kid and they just start dancing and hopping around, when there's like music in like the shops and like whoa, can they not care what everyone's like thinking and looking at? But now we're like, oh, people can judge me. You know what I mean? I could never do that. I was like, wow, I feel so free and I live in a different reality because I just don't care what people think, especially in this scenario. We're always I think we always sort of care what people think and we're removing those programs, like the goal is so that we can be free. It was just interesting that that was there and we give people that opportunity at the retreat and it's like. It's like so powerful.
Speaker 1:So when the last time he was actually free, and on the last day, which is like my favorite day, we do planning, right, we've done enough of the crazy stuff, everyone's exhausted. We wake up in the morning and one of the guys on the tree that come up to me and they went we doing anything that's triggering today, like ear going to get flared, whatever it is, and I was like we'll see, like today's a little bit easier, but we've got some stuff planned. And they were like because I just don't think I've got it in me, like we've got some more stuff and some more like activities like that, like I just don't know We've got it in me. I was like, are you just asking me, are you saying, corey, please, no more triggering activities? That looked to me the other way Yep, yep, please, bro, please, no more. I'm spent, I'm exhausted. I was like, yeah, me too, bro, like we're not doing that.
Speaker 1:So we have a planning day, which I think is so fun. So you ran through the planning day and it's really interesting. It's like I have this quote that I say throughout the whole weekend. It's like if you're seen in your power, if you are seen in your power, you get to keep it. But when you're seen in your power to get to keep it, you have to keep being seen in your power, otherwise you lose it. So we want to make some plans so we can take action in the real world.
Speaker 1:I had this thing and it's called catching the collapse, and I talk about it all the time After the retreat or after, like, you get coming into the set, the standard community, or working with me or whatever it is I say I always mention like make sure you do something to catch the collapse, whether it's joining one of our like long-term, you know community, one of our integration phases or something like that With the programs that we offer, so that you don't deflate. Because when you start deflating and you don't keep it for a period of time, that can like mess with your head and it could be like quite confusing because you've just spent all this power and these amazing emotions and now it starts collapsing. But that's completely natural. It's sort of like going to the gym and smashing out like he heaps of bench press, then expecting to be jacked straight afterwards. It's like no, you're not going to do that. You have to keep training chest, get to a level of like. Okay, I'm going to bench 100 kilos now and now, I can keep benching 100 kilos forever because I maintain it. Or I said there's some maintenance that has to happen, which is why I'm always encouraging people up, regardless of what you do, join our community some way.
Speaker 1:Jump on one of our programs or our integration phases, please, so that you can keep this, even though some people think, oh, I don't need that, it's so fine. It's like no, please, because when you're this big and this open, and then the rule word goes, bang, bang, it starts punching you and all these ways that like, shrinks, shrinks you again, and then you just get reminded I am a poster. All of these continue, I am not good enough. Oh, like, why does everyone else do this, you know, except for me? Why can't I do this? All of these comparisons, I think I'm back in and it's like you're this big and then everything's punching you back into place. So it's like you have to do something and I'm like, regardless of if it is, jump on our program. Like, please, jump on someone else's or do something, create accountability with people and stick to that. And if you know you can't stick to that, then like, pay for a service and get it done. You know what I mean Because it's so powerful, but one of the things that we have for people, if they don't jump on those as well, at least they've gone through and map something out.
Speaker 1:They've got a to do list at the end. So we create the to do list, we create the plans, we jot stuff down for every single person so they know that after the retreat this is what they've got to start implementing and even though they've got calls and family and customers and clients and staff and business to build and children and all these things in their lives, they can punch in them. It's like that's their ability then to come out there and hold those projections from everyone else, like projections and boundaries. I'm going to hold this and keep my power of bigness like this, because I'm dedicated to integrating, I'm dedicated to the power, I'm dedicated to being seen, which is, I find, you know, so powerful. So, yeah, a lot of stuff that it comes through is like you know where they're, sort of like a byproduct, really helping men's mental health.
Speaker 1:Mental health Like that isn't our initial intention, right. Mental health thing that that is now like big intention. A big intention is to get people to the next level, from people who are excellent to be outstanding. You know, from good to great is like to set new standards and boundaries for yourself and keep them. Like. That's very our intention working with people. But obviously with this work it does improve men's mental health and we just realize, you know, like, how passionate we were, you know, around everything else and improving mental health and just seeing it transform in real time. It's such a privilege and an honor and I feel so blessed and appreciative and grateful for all of that. I have so many emotions just like wow, like the work we do is so powerful, which I think is really cool, and it also changed in how we actually show up in the real world, getting like real results.
Speaker 1:Like, as already you know, people like building businesses together. People have been having conversations with their staff and their staff have been crushing it. I mean hoping, having conversations with their partners and just bonding in a way that they've never bonded before, because they're open, they're bigger, they've been accepting themselves, they've been removing the relationships out of their lives and the good ones, they've removed anxiety. They've asked for better job roles, job positions. They've asked for more money from clients. They've implemented boundaries with clients and people who do things with them already, like seeing this happen since the, since the retreat, and it's just, like you know, crazy. So I'm super appreciative and super thankful for everyone who came. So that's it.
Speaker 1:In regards to the next level retreat, we run some every six months. So for 2024 and you got this we're having another one around July. August is our June July August here around then. And for the people who jump on and whack in their deposits, now we're going to choose the weekend around you which sort of serves for you. So we've already got, like you know, a few people that have jumped on. If you're interested and if you're interested, you think it's going to be real good then click the link, chuck in a deposit or, you know, you can just pay for everything you know up front, straight away. It's completely up to you and we lock it in design that around you and away we go. So there's obviously like the best thing we're doing that they're taking off, like we're planning on around having about 40 people for this one. We had around 27 for the last one, so like we were ready to handle a few more people, which is really cool.
Speaker 1:We also have a bunch of other offers. So, like we've got our set the standard community. That's like $800 a month, three live group coaching calls, education phases, school communities so you get an app and a website there and I run the calls and my coach run the calls and we're just kicking ass people and it's so amazing. I love that community so much. It's blowing up. Everyone's crushing it. People that are just succeeded like last year, someone just like making a million dollars Quite regularly.
Speaker 1:People like upgrading the e-com space or in the building space, in the real estate space and in the marketing space and in the business only space we find it's like really powerful to come in and do that. And it also if you're like working for a job, like we have people come in to get like two promotions straight away because they learn how to ask for a pay rise and communicate effectively. We have a lot of content people who work with like content come with us because we also run content calls as well, that we teach content business, which is fantastic. So you get everything in that membership and it's really cool. It's like $800 a month or $4K for six months, which is new beauty. We also have like a high level retreat coming. It's like eight spots only. We've got one spot already taken, so there's only seven spots left.
Speaker 1:That is a weekend getaway. That's probably more around the Nusa area and that's in May, june, probably more the first week first like week or two of June, and that's a higher level offer that, if you hear about this, is probably the only time you're going to hear about it unless I directly voice note you. But we're facilitating a weekend private chef cook meals at like a beautiful, beautiful location and that is like some more higher level strategy stuff weaved in with it. You know, quite a bit of personal development and networking, master mining with some amazing people. So, yeah, we think it's like absolutely so fantastic and like we love it so much and like this is what comes out of doing retreats like this and the power that we can help put people in.
Speaker 1:So if any of that interest, you then like jump on board, would love to see you there, but if not, you just think like what we're doing is really cool, then keep on watching, please subscribe and enjoy the process, and I hope that this video gave you some brand new insights and I hope that it gave you some new lessons and it made you feel more powerful and more, like you know, integrated and more a part of our community. So we really appreciate you and if you are a part of our community or a part of join, some of our retreats like thank you, I can appreciate it Absolutely If you're honored to be able to facilitate that experience for you. So thank you for listening, thank you for watching and thank you for tuning in, as always. Bye, guys.